Of Red Books, Inflatable Kayaks and Babies

I cast my eyes about the room, everything in it's place -just the same as always. Something had to change. I thought I would go look for a new place to rent. I turned and locked the door behind me but on second thoughts, trotted down to the library instead. Once inside I found it more like a cavernous old museum with soft lighting, and rich textile covers on displays of books. Something caught my eye -in each grouping of books (on topics like: physics, geography, quilting, art etc) there were one or two plain red volumes which struck me for their plainess. No sooner had I but gingerly fingered them than their whole contents had flipped out and toppled, Jonny5-esque, into my brain. As it turned out these unassuming texts were the key to each topic. One had only to read them to gain a fine-and-dandy working knowledge of all things pertaining thereto (much like a less touted version of the "for Dummies" series). After slaking my thirst at the knowledge pool, I thought it high time to get on my way. I wandered down the main street of somewhere checking out the "to lets" in the agent's windows. I chanced a glance back over my right shoulder at precisely the moment a beach ball came bounding from the roof of a multi-storied appartment complex in appearance a verdant air traffic control tower. I shaded my eyes to see, and no, they didn't deceive me for there, indeed, was not just Simon Barnett, but the whole MoreFM crew, banners, flags and loud hailers at the ready. Something was going on, I had to find out what. To kindle my jealousy, the guy who managed to catch the wayward ball announced that he was going there to claim his prize which was an inflatable kayak. UNfair -that thing almost knocked me down and what do I get for my fright? They were drumming up a crowd and were more than pleased to see me there. Turns out they would give me a spot prize if I joined a game of leap-frog. But as it was "televised" live and I would have to submit myself to being judged, olympic style, I vehemently declined. All was not lost. They gave me another mission instead. To deliver a baby girl. All I had to do was ascend the grassy slope (on the outside of this circular building -corkscrew fashion) in a clockwise direction until I reached the top. Simple. I set off but was greatly impeded by some hefty great cracks in the clay substrate; some spanning a good half foot or so. Imperial foot that is. 'Just wait til I tell J.E. about these cracks in the "lawn"' I thought. I finally reached the top and flaked in the doorway. There to greet me was, bizarrely, my old pastor and his family and, last I heard, they were in Seattle. So there I was lying on the baked grass and what should happen to crawl out of my baby backpack but David's cat, Smudge. Oh the baby was still in there too, and no worse for the wear either. Feeling much refreshed, I peered over the balcony look down and see the flying machines something is not right spies are all around amorphous paua shell blob that glows then tuns into a blue bowl

Kids camp

3 December

I was at Camp making some sort of food and serving it out to the kids.
I walked around the corner of the door and there was a two year old boy staring up at me and I bent down to have a closer look. SJ came up behind him and for some reason it brought tears to my eyes.

Dozing on the bus...
random associations of words stick themselves together and I can remember them:
Very modest.
Ladies fingers.
Swear by it.

Josiah Trent

30 November

I was weeding little weeds from the front garden of our house (but not one I recognise now). Dad was teaching some boys inside and I wanted to go through to the back garden and continue weeding but to do so I would've had to walk right through their group -so being polite in company I skirted round the "back way", only to find there was no back way. Every time I opened a door it was a bedroom. Even if from the outside it looked like it was only a cupboard -when I flung wide the door there would be two single beds. This went on 5 or 6 times until I found one that had a window.

This room had obviously been a bathroom at some point and smelt like Nana. There were curtains which I was about to rip down until I peeked under them and realised why they were shut -the next door neighbour's house was only one metre away. Although there was typical bathroom stippled window glass details would clearly be seen. The curtains would have to stay. The next door window was brimming with typical bathroom paraphernalia: soap, sponge, squirty bottle thing, a Lancome lipstick and square perfume bottle with a chunky gold stopper and containing yellow liquid. In the metre gap between the houses was a lone twig scratching away at my window.

I mentally followed the twig to it's branch and then I was outside. I'd made it to the "back" garden (which was more of a side garden) -squity little thing that it was.



Finally, in a great change of tack I was heavily pregnant and about to labour. Only then did I contemplate names and decided on Josiah Trent -even though they hold no special meaning for me (and aren't even my favourite boy's names). Actually, the final thing was the Dr wanted to take a stool sample to test for salmonella, but I woke up before he could, hahaha hahaha.

Needless to say, I was busting.