Lions to Lions, Dust to Dust

A dozen or so of us were standing in a forest clearing as the evening fell when we all became aware of the eyes watching us from the bushes. Multiple pairs of eyes. Lions' eyes.

We huddled together hoping that forming a large impenetrable mass would deter them. It didn't. One of our number fell and was made short work of but we continued to stand steadfast in the chaos. When the ruckus died down we resolved to bury the carcass (what few bits remained) but we had no spade with which to dig only a dibber. So we dibbed in the hard packed earth and as last clods were replaced a fragment of tooth shot out from the makeshift grave, flew between my legs and into the mouth of a waiting lion behind me.

A large chunk of flesh fell from the sky right towards my face; I leaped and caught it with my teeth then shredded it with my claws as I hungrily devoured it. I can't pinpoint exactly when it was that I became one of them, but one of them I now was. I sloped off with my full stomach to join the rest of the pride.

2 Black Dogs

I was hiking down a hillside passing to the right of a sizable boulder which had a shrub clinging ruggedly to it, NB was following behind and passed to the left of the boulder.

Then I heard a pack of dogs closing in. I did what one does in scary situations. I sat down on the ground and reclined in to the hill whilst placing a brown knitted blanket across my knees -to protect them from the coming onslaught. The onslaught never came quite as an onslaught, but two nasty-looking black dogs bounded up and leaped at my face, before realising that NB was on the other side of the boulder and rounding him up.

They shunted him into their immaculate green yard where there were line dancers caked head to toe in mud... He must've got the steps wrong or something because it wasn't long before they were slow motion, zombie-like, closing in on him. Of course he found it exceedingly easy to extricate himself from such slow moving foes.

Meanwhile I'd only made it as far as the front porch where AL was hiring out massive folders of DVDs for only $16 and ten cents. I joined my thumbs and fingers together then whispered to indicate that I had no money on me.

Narita's: Forest Edition

Want to hear a funny story? (And but funny I mean unusual sequence of events and by story I mean actual dream). I didn't know where Narita's was so I looked on Google maps... that very night I dreamed it was Friday already and somebody had changed the location; we were now going to Narita's: Forest Edition. Accessed by a winding road into a forest and just before we reached the restaurant a tiger (for which I blame Jon Rafman's 9-eyes Google street view project) prowled into our path and 2 ranger guys diverted us to the left, to the service entry. My friend (who I don't know) was driving & parked as close to the back door as possible. We scampered up a ramp and through a series of three interlocking doors... and entered Narita's. There was a campfire in the middle of the floor. We said who we were and the wait staff welcomed us with a song then handed us menus & seated us. We ordered and went to pay but my friend had left her wallet in the car so just popped out to go get it. Out the sliding door on yonder side. She was halfway up the hill when I remembered the tiger... I bolted for the door to warn her but I was too late. I saw the raging orange streak go flying past and was helpless to save her... She'd made it round the corner by then so I hoped she might've reached the car... but then I heard her scream. I knew then that she didn't make it.

Josiah Trent

30 November

I was weeding little weeds from the front garden of our house (but not one I recognise now). Dad was teaching some boys inside and I wanted to go through to the back garden and continue weeding but to do so I would've had to walk right through their group -so being polite in company I skirted round the "back way", only to find there was no back way. Every time I opened a door it was a bedroom. Even if from the outside it looked like it was only a cupboard -when I flung wide the door there would be two single beds. This went on 5 or 6 times until I found one that had a window.

This room had obviously been a bathroom at some point and smelt like Nana. There were curtains which I was about to rip down until I peeked under them and realised why they were shut -the next door neighbour's house was only one metre away. Although there was typical bathroom stippled window glass details would clearly be seen. The curtains would have to stay. The next door window was brimming with typical bathroom paraphernalia: soap, sponge, squirty bottle thing, a Lancome lipstick and square perfume bottle with a chunky gold stopper and containing yellow liquid. In the metre gap between the houses was a lone twig scratching away at my window.

I mentally followed the twig to it's branch and then I was outside. I'd made it to the "back" garden (which was more of a side garden) -squity little thing that it was.



Finally, in a great change of tack I was heavily pregnant and about to labour. Only then did I contemplate names and decided on Josiah Trent -even though they hold no special meaning for me (and aren't even my favourite boy's names). Actually, the final thing was the Dr wanted to take a stool sample to test for salmonella, but I woke up before he could, hahaha hahaha.

Needless to say, I was busting.