8 Years Later in 5 Minutes

During the  the mere five minutes between my alarms I was able to squeeze in a dream about being at a post graduation ceremony... 8 years later. My whole family turned up: Dad, Mum, Grandma (but no Granddad this time as he died 8 years ago, but thankfully he did just make it to my actual graduation), D&K and Baby J.
The only person I recognised from my first graduation was MB.

Disclaimer

I use the initials or nicknames of people when I write about them for their own privacy and if they ever read this I wouldn't want to weird them out.

 It should be noted that I've known many people over the years who have the same initials so, just in case you see your initials it doesn't mean to say I've been dreaming about you. Feel free to ask me though...

Lions to Lions, Dust to Dust

A dozen or so of us were standing in a forest clearing as the evening fell when we all became aware of the eyes watching us from the bushes. Multiple pairs of eyes. Lions' eyes.

We huddled together hoping that forming a large impenetrable mass would deter them. It didn't. One of our number fell and was made short work of but we continued to stand steadfast in the chaos. When the ruckus died down we resolved to bury the carcass (what few bits remained) but we had no spade with which to dig only a dibber. So we dibbed in the hard packed earth and as last clods were replaced a fragment of tooth shot out from the makeshift grave, flew between my legs and into the mouth of a waiting lion behind me.

A large chunk of flesh fell from the sky right towards my face; I leaped and caught it with my teeth then shredded it with my claws as I hungrily devoured it. I can't pinpoint exactly when it was that I became one of them, but one of them I now was. I sloped off with my full stomach to join the rest of the pride.

2 Little Skiers

An handsome fellow stood in my doorway.

 Shorter than me but handsome nonetheless.

He'd knocked and I'd opened the door knowing a man would be there, and there to talk to me about the prospect of skiing together. Only, I've never skiied before in my life. No matter, he was there to teach me, apparently. He spun a good spiel but I just couldn't convince myself to step out the door and go with him. I closed the door in his face and felt a bit bad to be honest.

No sooner had I done that when he knocked again. And I opened the door again, only it wasn't him this time -but someone bearing more than a slight  resemblance to him. He also gave me the skiing spiel and this time I took it up. I stepped out the door into snow and away down the hill we swiftly sped. Such fun. I'm sure I was grinning between my ears.

But all was not well when we reached the top again; he'd spotted another girl in the crowd and with a fleeting flash of a sheepish smile, melted into the crowd and was never seen again. Stoopid, stoopid devastated me.

2 Black Dogs

I was hiking down a hillside passing to the right of a sizable boulder which had a shrub clinging ruggedly to it, NB was following behind and passed to the left of the boulder.

Then I heard a pack of dogs closing in. I did what one does in scary situations. I sat down on the ground and reclined in to the hill whilst placing a brown knitted blanket across my knees -to protect them from the coming onslaught. The onslaught never came quite as an onslaught, but two nasty-looking black dogs bounded up and leaped at my face, before realising that NB was on the other side of the boulder and rounding him up.

They shunted him into their immaculate green yard where there were line dancers caked head to toe in mud... He must've got the steps wrong or something because it wasn't long before they were slow motion, zombie-like, closing in on him. Of course he found it exceedingly easy to extricate himself from such slow moving foes.

Meanwhile I'd only made it as far as the front porch where AL was hiring out massive folders of DVDs for only $16 and ten cents. I joined my thumbs and fingers together then whispered to indicate that I had no money on me.

Earlobe

When I looked in the mirror this morning I noticed that my left earlobe was 4 times larger than my right earlobe. I lifted my hand and tugged on it; it was cold and flabby.

How have I not realised this before?
Why has no one ever teased me about this?

Of Red Books, Inflatable Kayaks and Babies

I cast my eyes about the room, everything in it's place -just the same as always. Something had to change. I thought I would go look for a new place to rent. I turned and locked the door behind me but on second thoughts, trotted down to the library instead. Once inside I found it more like a cavernous old museum with soft lighting, and rich textile covers on displays of books. Something caught my eye -in each grouping of books (on topics like: physics, geography, quilting, art etc) there were one or two plain red volumes which struck me for their plainess. No sooner had I but gingerly fingered them than their whole contents had flipped out and toppled, Jonny5-esque, into my brain. As it turned out these unassuming texts were the key to each topic. One had only to read them to gain a fine-and-dandy working knowledge of all things pertaining thereto (much like a less touted version of the "for Dummies" series). After slaking my thirst at the knowledge pool, I thought it high time to get on my way. I wandered down the main street of somewhere checking out the "to lets" in the agent's windows. I chanced a glance back over my right shoulder at precisely the moment a beach ball came bounding from the roof of a multi-storied appartment complex in appearance a verdant air traffic control tower. I shaded my eyes to see, and no, they didn't deceive me for there, indeed, was not just Simon Barnett, but the whole MoreFM crew, banners, flags and loud hailers at the ready. Something was going on, I had to find out what. To kindle my jealousy, the guy who managed to catch the wayward ball announced that he was going there to claim his prize which was an inflatable kayak. UNfair -that thing almost knocked me down and what do I get for my fright? They were drumming up a crowd and were more than pleased to see me there. Turns out they would give me a spot prize if I joined a game of leap-frog. But as it was "televised" live and I would have to submit myself to being judged, olympic style, I vehemently declined. All was not lost. They gave me another mission instead. To deliver a baby girl. All I had to do was ascend the grassy slope (on the outside of this circular building -corkscrew fashion) in a clockwise direction until I reached the top. Simple. I set off but was greatly impeded by some hefty great cracks in the clay substrate; some spanning a good half foot or so. Imperial foot that is. 'Just wait til I tell J.E. about these cracks in the "lawn"' I thought. I finally reached the top and flaked in the doorway. There to greet me was, bizarrely, my old pastor and his family and, last I heard, they were in Seattle. So there I was lying on the baked grass and what should happen to crawl out of my baby backpack but David's cat, Smudge. Oh the baby was still in there too, and no worse for the wear either. Feeling much refreshed, I peered over the balcony look down and see the flying machines something is not right spies are all around amorphous paua shell blob that glows then tuns into a blue bowl